Conflicted as I was… of course I did not speak with him. No, instead I let it rest, let the suns go by… let it last… until then of course it all went wrong.
It all goes wrong.
Third sun, he left. Promised to return… promised.
Lied.
He never came back. The boys wailed, cried for him the rest of the eve.
‘Shu! Shu!’ Twelve…
They cried, I cried because they would not stop.
Returns only to uproot everything.
Took me suns, but I tracked him down. I am rusty on that as well.
Limsa. He stunk of booze. Sat there alone starring at the ocean. I approached him… we spoke.
I got angry… upset.
I understand, I know he cannot stop. I know…
But I cannot let things lie, I need him there… I need something…
I am so lonely, empty.
And as much as I want it, he can give me nothing.
I am a fool, it will not change.
I told him not to come home.
I walked away.
I was furious. I never wanted to see him again, never wanted anything…
Busted out my gear, strapped everything on, found a flier promising kills.
And he was there.
I was like a statue. Did not speak to anyone, could not look at him I was so MAD!
I hardly heard anything commanded of me, felt like I was suffocating in the hollows of Casseopia.
And then we fought the buffalo… the great buffalo… under the sky Falke was born under.
I could not help but watch him fight, had to…
Then he fell, my heart ripped out.
I got him up, screamed and fought.
Thought I lost him.
And then it was over, all over…
He walked to me… the whole eve trying to be near… knowing he could not be, that I had told him to go…
I wiped the blood from his face, looked at him, longed for him.
I am so endlessly sad…
I brought him home, tended his wound… sobbed quietly…
We will never be right.
He does not love me.
I am going to be alone, always.
And that is how it will end.
4th Sun, 1st Umbral Moon, 1572
Deirdre Ta'ea 