Undated

I am standing in a stream.

It seems like a silly place to be as I can not swim.
I am here because I wish to be.
The cool water flows between my warm thighs, the sound drowns in my ears.

There is comfort in this being alone.

Between my legs the cool water seems to ebb, warmer and warmer…
I look down, and it is not crystal colours I see.
Red stains of blood streak and flow don the current, a hand brushes my exposed leg as the body drifts past me.
More bodies slowly drift by… this is no normal river.

I look behind, and see the dead being tossed in, one at a time, two men on a ridge.
Splash.
One wipes his brow, yells at the other.
Splash.
They wear red, dark colours I recognize…
Splash.
A child floats past me, but I am calm.

I feel compelled… I lay back in the water.
Blood water shifts against my cheeks, stains them, my hair comes undone to tangle with limbs.
I float now, by the dead, down the stream.
My ears are hollow now, as if I were deaf.
Like in a cave, a long endless cave…

Then the dream is gone, and I can not breathe.
A hand at my neck holds me under, I thrash.
No matter how much I struggle… I can not reach my assaulter.
No matter how much I try, I can not breathe underwater.
No matter how much I wish… I can not see his face… I’ve no sight under the blood-stained river.

Then… there is an odd moment of acceptance. I stop moving, laying still, limp…
I give up, I know I am going to die.
I close my eyes-

(Undated)